What does it take to get a passport?

We leave in 3 days. So I thought I would just do a little double-checking to make sure that we had all the required paperwork to get in and out of the country. But what I never accounted for was getting from the ship, to the islands. Obviously I have not done this many times before.....because I overlooked this until....well.......yesterday. They will not accept our copies of a "passport application status" page on the islands. Here is the kicker......I sent away my only copy of my birth certificate. Now you might say, why don't you have an extra copy? And I would reply " please shut it". Anyway, through a series of long phone calls, I discovered that the only way I am going to get a new one, is by driving to Lansing ( because I am adopted, that's the only place that I can get it). Luckily I have a wonderful and loving father, who made an 1 hour trip yesterday and picked it up for me, air-mailed it...and it's right here in front of me!! Our REAL passports are 13 weeks out, with no sign that we will receive them in time. Knowing my luck, they will be in the mailbox today:) I guess since I am here, I should comment on my wonderfully pregnant wife........is there some kind of emotional switch that I can re-route? My mechanically minded brain cannot make any sense of the things that are going on right now. What a strange and wonderful thing it is to go through this.

I know that we will have the best time of our lives next week, and Michelle deserves this vacation much more than I do. But I will take what I can get.........